missXtakes

The bright side to being sad for so long, is that I've learned to appreciate those days when colors seem real. I've learned to appreciate the power of laughter, sober laughter. I'm not out of the woods just yet, but I can hold on the the few things I've learned there.

I should believe that I'm worth more than this. I should know that I don't deserve this. I should trust that things will get better, but the truth of it all is that I'm not. The more people try to say to me that "It'll get better" the less I believe them. If its going to get better, why hasn't it yet? I spent my day crying. Nobody came. Nobody refused to take "its nothing" as an answer. Nobody can see through me and see that I just need someone here. How do I expect help if I won't ask for it? I spent my day crying. Crying because this horrible feeling of hopelessness and helplessness is all I feel anymore. I don't have any hope left in me.

I'm not jealous of her, at least not anymore. There was a time when your attraction to her was my biggest envy. But I am not jealous of her. I don't like her. I don't like her because she hurt you. She made you cry, she used you. You went crawling back to her, time and time again at her every beck and call. You wish you hadn't spent our entire vacation glued to your phone talking to her. But that's in the past now. You've shown me that you can hurt the people that care about you as much as I do. You've shown me that you can make me cry with hurtful words. You've shown me that you can use me when no one else answers to your every beck and cal